Waiting
by DinoRawr626
Summary: My first fanfic. MelloxNear oneshot. Yaoi-ish. Near suffers on his own until he gets a message from Matt.


**OK, so this is kind of OOC, but it has to be for the story to work. Yaoi-ish. MelloxNear.**

**This is my first fanfic so it might not be very good.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death note, although I seriously wish I did.**

After L's death, Mello went silent. He just wouldn't talk, wouldn't sleep and he hardly ate. Then, a while later, he left. I wanted to follow, on multiple occasions I tried to escape, but it always ended in me being found, shivering, in an alley somewhere, or crying with his photo in my hand. After a while, I gave up, I would never see him again. So I became depressed. I hardly left my room. Most of my time was spent in the bathroom with door locked, a razor at my wrist and tears staining my face, a pool of quivering blood accumulating beside me. I wished I was strong enough to stand by his side, hands twisted together like age-old vines, but I always had to be rescued. I was too weak to even deal with emotional pain, leaving my arms riddled with scars that the others at Wammy's house would stare and point at, I would sit alone, tears falling down worn-out paths on my cheeks, a slow but steady stream that dripped off my lower jaw onto the plain shirts that I absent-mindedly pulled over my head every morning, not letting blood stain them, but making sure they hid my forearms as best as they could, but, no matter how much I cut and no matter how much I wished and prayed for his return, I was still alone.

/

One day, I heard a knock on my door. I usually wouldn't answer, but it was one of my better days and I had a feeling it might be important. I dragged myself off the bed and slowly opened the door, through the small space where I had opened it, I could see a redhead, he was slightly taller than me and an odd pair of goggles outlined his eyes. His thin body was encompassed in a large, stripy shirt, and I recognised him, my shoulders relaxed and I opened the door as wide as it would go. "Matt." I spoke his name as I exhaled and he smiled at me. "Long time no see, Near." His voice had gotten deeper. "Ummm... I could say the same about you." Still not quite believing he was standing in front of me. "Why are you here?" I questioned, curious as to why the redhead had returned to the orphanage. He pulled a small, crumpled piece of off-coloured paper out of his pocket and handed it to me. It was a note, and it read:

"_Near,_

_I'm sorry I can't see you at the moment, and I'm sorry I just left and didn't keep in touch, though you probably don't mind, you always thought I hated and despised you. I just honestly needed to have some space to think, but then things got complicated, I cannot fill you in with the details, but I will say that the Mafia is involved. Stay where you are. Don't go anywhere. I will find a way to see you._

_I miss you._

_I love you._

_Mello."_

A few solitary drops of salted water splashed onto the page and slightly smudged the ink. "He asked me to give this to you. He's a bit busy at the moment."

"Thank you Matt. Thank you so much! You have just saved me." I found myself throwing my arms around his neck, choking him with my appreciation. I stood up and sat back down. "Don't worry about it, it's the least I could do." He replied, rubbing his neck. "See you round." I hadn't noticed him standing up and making his way towards the door. He had left before I could say anything in return. Then, for the first time in a long while, I smiled. I lay back on my bed and smiled, then, before I knew it, I was asleep, dreaming of the blonde I so much adored.

/

I woke up to the sound of rain hitting the windows, drops running down the glass as if racing one another. I rubbed my eyes and stretched, for once feeling a little bit of joy, that morning I didn't cut, I went straight to breakfast, not realising that it was still dark, when I did, it made no change in my actions and I fetched myself a bowl of cereal, sitting down in the empty hall. I felt the note in my pocket and smiled, thinking of the kind words that rescued me from a bottomless pit of misery and torture. "_l love you_." That's what it had said. I could only hope for it to be true. I left the hall after a relatively short period of time and went back to my room and lay on the single bed, staring at the ceiling and stroking the piece of paper enclosed in my fist. After a few minutes, I unintentionally fell asleep, a black canvas conquering my vision.

/

When I awoke, he was there, looking at me with dazzling, blue eyes. He leaned down to kiss me and I closed my eyes in anticipation, but he faded away as he drew closer, being a mere figment of my imagination. A single tear ran down my face, quivering slightly as it fell onto the pure white sheets of my bed. I rolled over and faced the wall, crying myself back to sleep.

/

-Mello's POV-

So many thoughts were running through my head as I sped down the highway, my brain was a mess, but the one thing at the front of my mind was him, was Near, his beautiful, flawless features that I so greatly desired. I had chocolate in one hand and the steering wheel in the other. My eyes concentrated on the road, winding towards my destination. I was so grateful to Matt for delivering my message; I only hoped that Near felt the same way about me. I was on my way to see him for the first time since I had left, I was busy sorting myself out, and it never occurred to me before that I could get Matt to regularly check up on him. I was desperate to see my so-called rival and I was getting frustrated that I couldn't get there any quicker. I shifted in my seat and drove forward, uncharacteristically anxious.

/

-Near's POV-

I was awoken again by a sudden weight on my bed; I rubbed my eyes and rolled over, sitting up on the pristine white bed. My vision was blurred and I had yet to identify the source of the unexpected weight. My hands fell from my face and my vision was restored. I looked to the end of my bed and saw him, the same leather-clad blonde I had fallen in love with all that time ago. He smiled at me and I couldn't really believe that he actually turned up. I stayed still for a minute, contemplating the fact that it could be a dream, but then he leaned towards me and gingerly stroked my face. "Did you get my message?" he asked, his voice resonating throughout the room. I simply nodded, too awestruck for words. His hand dropped from my face and left my cheek feeling cold, I missed the warmth and a small whimper escaped from my slightly parted lips. He chuckled lightly, again leaning forward, but this time he gently pressed his lips against mine. I closed my eyes and he moved away, leaving me wishing for more. "You have no idea how much I wanted to see you, I could barely sta-" That was when he noticed my scars. He pushed my sleeves up my arms, leaving the cuts fully exposed. I looked down, feeling guilty. "Near, how could you?"

"I missed you so much, you have no idea how many times I tried to follow you! I always had to be rescued from some dark alley though. I gave up on trying to find you! I got depressed. I thought I would never see you again..."

"And your only solution was self harm?! Why didn't you talk to someone? Why didn't anyone stop you?!"

"No one cares. No one cares about some know-it-all who looks like an old man. No one cares about some stupid kid that locks himself in the bathroom and cuts every day. No one cares..."

"I care. Never do anything so stupid again! I would never have left if I had known you would have done this..." His voice faded to a whisper as he pulled me into a heartfelt embrace. "I love you, Nate. Don't you ever forget that." Those words were all it took to make tears stream down my face. However calm I usually look, those words tore me from a miserable world of darkness and I couldn't help but cry with happiness. "I always longed to tell you, but we were always considered rivals. Then L died and everything fell apart."

"Mihael?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you too, don't ever leave again, I couldn't handle it. Promise me you'll stay. Promise me you'll never leave my side."

"I promise." With those words, he kissed me. Deeply and passionately. I knew he would never leave.


End file.
